This weeks has been garbage. My hand has given out with a massive arthritis flare up and I have had a less than awesome experience with my sons schools. It's shit and right now there is literally nothing that I can do about any of it other than write this blog. I know it will be alright though.
How do I know it's going to be ok? I don't. I don't know it is going to be but I trust it is because Im confident I'll be fine. That's what Google defines faith as, complete trust and confidence in someone and something. It also tells me one of the basics of faith is knowing about the thing you have faith in, so you can completely trust it. I know myself better than anyone. I know what I am, what my abilities are and where my weaknesses lie. I know enough about me to know I got this. I have faith in myself.
I don't just have faith in me. I also have faith in my husband. I know him and what he is about. I can completely trust he has my back when things get rough. This week has been particularly nasty with regards to our sons schooling. I know Adam has my back. I'm confident and trust he will support whatever decision I make. We'll make it through together. Faith in myself, Ads and is as a couple.
If you don't have a little faith (in yourself, God, family, Beyoncé, whoever) you'll spend a lot of your time shit scared of everything. You won't trust your decision and second guess everything. I know because for a long time I had no trust in myself. I've built up confidence little by little over the years with advice my parents gave me. You can only make the best call you can at the time with information you have. I've also found over time it helps to have people in your corner who lift you up and remind you that you got this. I'm a very big believer in surrounding yourself with people who build you up not knock you down.
It doesn't mean I don't ever second guess my situation. I second guess things all the time. Did I second guess taking on a room full of teachers, a principal and a district psychologist? Yeah, I did. Do I think I did the right thing? Yeah, for the most part although losing my cool wasn't good. Do I think it's going to turn out alright? Hell yes. Why? I trust that it will.
So what happens when it all goes belly up and isn't ok? I get bummed, I get upset, and in the case of the week just gone I threaten to make Cersei Lannister blowing up the Sept of Baylor look like a children's birthday party. I do know though that even if our backs are to the wall we will make a plan and keep going. I trust things will work themselves out. It always does in the end, and over the last 9 years together I can say Adam and I are absolute proof of this.
Even if you don't have faith in yourself and you place your trust in a higher power the same rules apply. Love and know [insert omniscient, omnipotent and benevolent being here (I see you Beyoncé…)] and trust they are going to do you right. Even in the bad times they will bring you out the other side with [insert words of wisdom (ok ladies now let's get in formation..)].