Things I have learned so far

I honor of it being my 36th birthday last week I’m going to share some of the things I’ve learned so far after this many goes around the sun.

  1. Never eat anything bigger than your head. This includes whole watermelons, cakes, pizzas, whatever. It is really hard to do and it’ll make you sick, even if you hammer in like a cartoon character. Trust me. I ate 32 pieces of pizza once which was also a shit idea.
  2. Never set fire to the clothes you are wearing. Self explanatory.
  3. Once you spew it’s over. This was set forth by Dr K many years ago as a reason I should not leave the house party I was at to go to a pub. Pretty sensible and will always put you in good stead. Dr K is an actual factual MD so I count it as proper medical advice.
  4. If feel no good please stop. Advice gained from the back of a packet of face wipes bought in Chinatown by a friend. Legit advice though. If something doesn’t feel right you shouldn’t keep doing it. Find another thing.
  5. Being kind costs nothing. It makes someone else feel nice and it feels nice to help people. You never know how much a bit of kindness can change someone’s day
  6. Eat things you like. Life is too short for shitty coffee and not eating cake in case you get fat. Eat too much at Christmas (we all do).  When your old you wont care how many salads you ate, you’ll remember the feasts and the fun. Also, no one will like you less because you ordered and ate steak. If they do they’re not worth it.
  7. Look after your health, mental or otherwise. It’s boring but you only have one body and having it in good working order is important. If your brain feels not ok go see someone and get it sorted. I your teeth break get them fixed (I have 2 broken ones right now trust me). Don’t put up with random aches and pains. You might find you have arthritis.
  8. Dont mix your drinks. It’ll wind you in rule 3.
  9. Saving money is boring but totally worth it. Having bank just off to the side means you can take that trip. Stay in a fancy hotel. You can go to that festival. You can have the tooth ripped out you broke at said festival. Having a bit of cash also puts you ahead of the pack a bit later on in life which can be handy.
  10. Stretch your brain. Read books. Learn new things. When you stop learning you start to die and you never know when that knowledge will come in handy.
  11. Love yourself. You are magnificent and in the words of RuPaul “if you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else”.
  12. Be around people who enhance your life and lift you up. Don’t spend your time around people who drag you down and belittle you. Find your tribe.
  13. Wait. Don’t make rash decisions, particularly big decisions, without thinking about things. Sometimes time will give you clarity and it saves you from all kinds of shenanigans.
  14. ….also, don’t wait. Always wanted to go to Europe? Go book that trip! Want to try CrossFit? Go for it! Always wanted to take singing lessons? Get out there! Hot yoga! Cooking lessons! Hiking!! Camping!! Retrain for your dream job! DO ALL THE THINGS!!
  15. Try not to be a judgy bastard, especially if you haven’t even had remotely any experience with the thing you’re judging.
  16. Kmart, Bunnings and Lush are the happiest places on Earth.
  17. Know who you are to the best of your ability. Know what you’re about. What you like, what you don’t, what you will and won’t accept. Where your lines in the sand are. Stick to the fundamentals of this.
  18. Tell the people you care about that you care. Say I love you. Hug them. Show them you care.
  19. Life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter. Jenny from accounting hates your guts?! Good for her. Who gives a rats and why even care. Let her expend energy on the hate. You have books to read, oceans to swim in, and things to do

20. Be yourself. Always be yourself because it’s the best person you can be.

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