I know some gorgeous women. They are stunning, some own businesses, some are well traveled, have equally as gorgeous and successful social circles, perfect families and have beautiful homes. Wonderful wonderful women. I see their lives and sometimes, just sometimes, I think “Damn it! I want that”.
In most cases our lives for starters are completely different. In some cases 180 degrees different. We have different goals in life. I have children and some don’t. I’m not at a point in my life where having a business isnt even possible let alone a smart idea. For me travelling is going to the beach to take pictures. My immediate social circle consists of people in my house and people I work with. Not all of these women work outside the home or have multiple kids. We have different lives.
I wont lie. I think where the “I want that” comes in has a lot to do with social media. We see peoples Instagram and Facebook feeds with their latest photos of whatever fabulous thing they are doing. Their perfect breakfasts, cute outfits, perfect family activities, gorgeous magazine worthy homes or their enviable holidays. We see so many of these things daily that we assume everyone is out there doing wildly exciting things. Social media serves as a highlight reel. What we are seeing is the best photos and situations we aren’t seeing the 40 other less than fantastic pictures with shoddy lighting. You don’t see the cool It girl sick on the lounge with the flu looking like death.
I think the other part of the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) equation is the idea everyone can do everything. You like Khloe Kardashians biscuit jar just go out and get some glass jars and line those bad boys up. That shit’d last 5 seconds in our place because the jar would be smashed and the patterned wrecked. Oh just book and pay off a trip to Thailand? Not if you have 30c at the end of the week because of debts. Yeah I know ‘if there’s a will there’s a way’. I’m sorry but you can have all the will in the world but that wont always find you a way if your circumstances wont allow it. You can’t will yourself into the perfect life.
So what do we do about all this?
- Stop comparing yourself to other people. I’m not them and they are not me. Sure, be inspired by people. I am inspired regularly by some of the wonderful women I know to be kinder, reach further, get fitter, to step outside my comfort zone. Just don’t think you have to compete with others. Especially if they are your friends.
- Realise social media is selective. You’re seeing what people want you to see and in the case of many influencers it’s carefully curated content. I have looked at a few online marketing articles looking for ideas to promote this blog and it’s what they tell you. Use hashtags, filter all your photos, heavily style all your pics/videos, post only the best photos, and carefully curate your content to get clicks. It’s designed to make you want stuff.
- This is the most important. Enjoy your damn life. Let go of what you think your life is supposed to be like and enjoy it for what it is. Can’t afford Thailand? Teach yourself to make Thai food. Sure, I may not have a magazine worthy home but I’m happy when the home I have is clean and the people in it are happy. Yeah I’m not a successful business woman but I have this little blog. I enjoy writing it. That’s just enough for me. Get happy with where you are at.