Scenario: You’ve fallen out with someone. They’ve pissed you off and there has been a bit of a verbal stand off. Shit was said, peoples feelings got hurt (sometimes permanently) and shit got said. You’re mates on Facebook or have mutual friends. You dont want to defriend them for whatever reason but you want to rant and you want them (or others in the know) to know what you think. So, you post a pointed meme or make a subtly or not so subtly worded post. Start posting pic with others with captions like “I love my REAL friends/family” or “These are the people REALLY there for me”. You want people to know thing but you don’t want to come out and start shit. You usually see comments and replies like “are you ok”, “fuck other peoples drama”, “dont stress on it babes” and supportive memes. Double points if the original poster responds with “DM me”, “sent you a message” or simmilar.
This my friends is passive aggressive vaugebooking and it’s bullshit. I’ve done it, we’ve all fuckin done it so let’s not pretend.
To start with the person you’re posting about probably doesnt give two fucks. They have moved onto the next thing and you aren’t a second thought to them. You’re the one making yourself angry thinking on the situation more and searching the internet for the perfect meme, carefully wording a post, or pointedly captioning pictures. That time wasted could have been spent reading, calling someone who actually gives a shit about you or having a nice soak in the tub. I’m not going to act like I haven’t done this myself, because I have and that’s how I know all it does is make you crazy. You over analyse everything on their Facebook wall (I’m a classic over thinker) and in my case I get really blunt and don’t pull punches.
On the other side of this if they do see your post and get it’s about them there is likely to be fallout. Retaliation memes and posting more than likely starting more beef with them and people sticking their 2c worth in (don’t you just love that…..🙄) or even worse people gathering gossip for others high school style.
The other option here is the person who wronged you is going to be happy they’re under your skin if they are indeed that’s special kind of asshole. Do you need that shit in your life? Seriously, do you need that kinda stress with all the other crap we deal with in every day life? Probably not [insert previous statement about better uses of your time].
On the point of arguments. Since bloody when have we had to shake it off Taylor Swift style and not let things bother us? Fall outs with family and friends hurt. Being snubbed hurts. Finding out people we thought cared bagging the crap out of you hurts. Let’s not pretend it doesn’t and there is nothing wrong with admitting that. There’s also nothing wrong with taking the time to feel sad as long as you don’t unpack and live in the sadness.
Side note – my hot tip for not unpacking and living in sadnesses is giving yourself a time limit for said sadness. Saying “well I had a fight with my bestie so I’m going to be upset for the next hour or 2 then that’s it. I’m going to try not to dwell on it anymore”. This varies from person to person and situation to situation but you get my drift. I’m not fantastic at this myself but I do try my damn best.
Now I can hear some of you saying “it’s my Facebook page I’ll post what I want”. That’s right and people can scroll past or eat a dick if they don’t like what you post. Never a truer thing has been spoken. HOWEVER, however, you’re not free from the consequences of said posts. If you go posting passive aggressive shit about people and situations don’t be surprised if it doesn’t get any better.
Also WHY are you posting this stuff. Do you want sympathy or to vent? Do you want attention? Do you want to let the person know you’re hurt? Tell the dickhead who hurt you they have hurt you. You’re allowed to be angry and upset about stuff. You’re also allowed to be bothered and want to vent. I’ve vented in the past and then poor Ads has had a flood of messages asking if I’m ok mentally because the internet is hard and you can’t see tone or tell people are venting. .
The other thing to point out Vaugebooking is very different from talking about a personal situation or issue while still maintaining privacy. Sometimes people want to talk about things without giving their whole selves away which is admirable. The difference with that and Vaugebooking is the details. What they’re willing to say because people sharing things for real tend to be a bit more open.
So people of the internet. Stop Vaugebooking for your own sanity.