…I rode an assault bike

I go to the local branch of Anytime Fitness since I can’t lift the heavy things anymore. It does what  I need and it has all the machines I need to do the fitness. About two weeks ago said local gym got a bit of a make over. In said refurb they got an assault bike and I decided that I was going to go down when it was open again and have a crack. I’d seen all my favorite Instagram fitness people on them so I wanted a go too.

So an assault bike looks like a regular exercise bike except it’s got funky long handles that reach to the ground. Ok, cool, but when you pedal the handle bars move back and forwards oh and you generate quite a bit of wind off the front tire. Good if you’re hot and buggered by the end of your workout and you’ve automatically got your own wind machine. Beyonce here I come!

So anyways I jump on this bike and I’m pedaling at a nice easy pace thinking I’m doing great and then I decided to find out exactly what this death machine did and pedalled like my life depended on it. I’m a dickhead. Instantly my heart jumped somewhere into my throat and my heart was banging like that door from Game of Thrones so much so I shoulda started screaming HODOR!! Fuck, I could only keep that pace for a minute or so because I was sure I was dying.

It was good though and I felt happy. I liked the feeling of absolute exhaustion. As uncoordinated as it feels I would totally have another go one the assault bike.

Update: since writing this I have had several goes on the bike and I love it but I hate that I love it. So good yet so exhausting.

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