One day at work I was talking ot a friend about someone we both know and used to work with. Nice to start with but as time went on things became more unhinged, there was lots of collateral damage and friendships lost. We both agreed that while there are issues at play larger than we could hope to effect, you also can’t help people if they are unwilling to help themselves or unwilling to be helped.
She went the full Kanye.
You never go the full Kayne.
We all know people like this. It’s everyone elses fault. They can’t operate under such oppression and such haterism. It’s never them, but somehow they always end up back in the same sticky mess. They’re misunderstood and if you just given them a chance they can show you and somehow you end up complicit in their shenanigans just by knowing about their epsodes of fuckery.
I know because I have gone full Kanye. Hard. I was the toxic person in my own life. Sure I blamed everyone else because I disagreed with everyone, and in some cases spats weren’t my fault. I didnt make it any better though. Yeah, no one got me or I was being misunderstood by everyone but I was making the same dumb ass choices. It wasn’t that I was entirely surrounded by toxic people (there were a couple here and there) but more to the point I was the toxic person. I was the one ruining my own shit. It wasn’t until one day crying over the same shit again when someone asked “is it you thats the problem? This is the 3rd time this has happened and it’s at a different place”. At first I was mad and said of course it’s not!! It’s [insert bullshit] but I thought deep down inside maybe it was me. I wrestled with it for a little while and I changed some things. As things changed I found the crap stopped happening. Oh fuck, yeah it was me. Went somewhere else, it was bad for a long while (it was a perfect storm of fuckery) then when I changed tact ever so slightly things became smooth and I naviagated that ocean like pro.
I’m certainly not saying change who you are all the time to fit in or accept bullshit not to rock the boat. I’m just saying be mindful of YOUR bullshit you bring with you. If you’re expecting everyone around you to carry the emotional equivalent of your 48 piece luxury luggage set there’s gonna be some pissed off people. Loading it onto strangers, passers by, people whom you love that are already doing their fair share. Eventually someone is going to throw it back at you and tell you to fuck off. Then you’ll say it’s unfair and they’re mean and how dare they hurt you and everyone is against you. Offended they wont put up with your toxic shenanigans.
Now, back to my friend and I chatting
We both want to help the gorgeous woman we know. However it’s not the right time. She’s not ready to hear that maybe if she got off the fuckery train things would be ok. She’s not ready to hear that she’s got to change before anything else will. She’s still enjoying the drama of it all. This lovely lady needs to realise she’s the only one that can fix this mess. I’m totally here for that we’d love to help her. Like I said though you can’t help those who wont help themselves. You can tell them to their face they need to change but Kanye gonna do what Kanye gonna do.