I am the oncoming storm

A couple of weeks ago as I drove home from work I noticed a storm. It was above the clouds because you could see the lightning flashing and looking threatening but there was no sound. The closer I got to home the more you could hear the thunder start to rumble. Just a quiet rumble like someone moving furniture a house over or a truck a few streets away.

Sometimes I feel like that storm. All these ideas and things flashing and popping. You can see it happening on the outside but nothing is happening. Then there is the small but faint rumble as the ideas start to take some shape and things come out here and there. All of a sudden there is thunder, lightning and it’s all gushing out at once drenching everything. All things need to be done yesterday and there is not enough time in the day.

I try and take advantage of those stormy days. The days I have all the energy to get things done. To write all the posts and better organise things. I get it done for the dry patches when nothing seems to get done. That hasn’t worked lately because it’s been an unusually large dry spell. A lot of which had to do with me ignoring my inner voice and doing what I thought I ‘should’ be doing.

I should be sticking to this writing schedule. I should be working out like this. I should be eating… I should be parenting like…I should be spiritual like…. Not that anyone told me this but I am hard on myself and need to learn that sometimes the ‘no plan’ plan is the best. I mean I know this but my inner critic is sometimes louder than my inner voice.

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