A few weeks ago I wrote about having some applications to be a stay at home carer for the kids. Now everything is going along hunky dory until I make a few enquiries and find out that I was advised to put in my application wrong (what?!?) and that even if it gets approved due to some more incorrect information we wouldn’t get anywhere near the amount of money we’d need to get by.What’s also made it worse is that after busting my ass to get all the forms in they insist that they didn’t have all our sons informations (they do, I checked twice).
It was a kick in the fucking face. I wont lie and to say I was gutted was a bit of an understatement. I was hoping somehow that this application would all go through and that I’d get to stay at home and it’d be all alright. Life would get easier and I could be a stay at home Mum. Ads would get to sleep and it’d all work out perfect. Um, no, that’s back in the ‘winning lotto ir robbing banks’ dream pile.
So how do you handle it when your best laid plans go to shit?
The biggest thing I think is that I gave myself the time and space to grieve. Sounds wierd but I gave myself a day to feel like shit and own the fact that I’d put my eggs in that one basket and now I have egg on my face. For me if I didn’t do that and I had a few more minor set backs. I’d end up crying out of sheer frustration. The time and space to let go made it easier to accept.
The next thing was to look at alternatives for the thing that didnt work. In this case I may not get to stay home but we may get a healthcare card for the kids to make any medications cheaper. We still could get approved for partial carers allowance and our sin might be approved for special school transport which is better than a kick in the face. So while the big goal isn’t there not all hope can be lost. If there is no work around see step 1 again.
Lastly I think we need to unpause our lives and keep busy. I know we’d put our lives sort of on hold until we’d figured out what was going on. For me I took the breaks off and restarted our lives. Back to taking overtime, making other plans and organising who sees whom and when. I also find the more I keep busy the less likely I am to think about things which makes it easier to get over.