I’m doing pretty well on the mental health front and I’ve grown a lot. The reason I say this is because yesterday I suffered a bit of a hiccup. It was pointed out a plot had been hatched to leave me out of certain celebrations with the excuse if I’d be at work. It was really upsetting because to a few people I’m the villain in their story for just being me. For not bending to their will and just giving in. For not being quiet like a good girl and doing what’s dictated to me.
Now normally that would send me into a tailspin. I’d be a damn mess. This time I didn’t. This time I had some feelings about it. I had a lot of feelings about it. I bent my poor husbands ear off about it for half a day. What I didn’t do though is melt into a puddle and live in that place of anger and hate. I didn’t deny my feelings in any way but I didn’t let them overpower me.
I think it’s because I came to the conclusion that some of the insecurities I had that sent me into a spiral weren’t mine. I mean they were but they were because someone else told me their opinion was more valid than mine. Once I got over that and made peace with that it was all good in the hood. It was like someone had knocked me on the head and I could see properly again.
I’m walked away from the shenanigans that afternoon and felt great. Didn’t think about it again. I really am doing great.